Rum
by D4cHilliN
Summary: Infamous Captain Jack Sparrow has conquered many challenges in his day but will he survive when all the rum runs out? Pointless little Oneshot.


Wow, A story that's NOT about Dragonball Z? :O

Be gentle though, this is my very FIRST POTC Story. I tried to make them as IN Character as possible :D

(Set in Dead Man's chest Timeframe).

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_**Rum**_

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Why was it always gone?

Jack Sparrow tipped the jar upwards and squinted into it, sighing and slamming it down on the desk when he saw that nothing was in it. He put on his hat and got to his feet, wobbling about as he made his way down to the storage room of the ship.

He stepped over a man who was laying sprawled on the floor and picked up a light that was placed beside him, waving at the sleeping figure. "Carry on mate."

Upon arriving at the hold, he flicked his eyes around as the ship rocked steadily back and forth. He smiled and walked over to a bunch of crates, setting the light down and dragging one out. What he saw inside however, made him frown.

"Eh.." He pushed the powder aside and pulled out another crate only to be filled with the same as the last. More desperate, he began pushing and pulled out crates. "We're out of rum." He said hoarsely, checking the very last crate. He looked around in silence as if the ship would magically produce some.

"All hands on deck!" The ship came alive with activity as Jack Sparrow came barging out, yelling and waving his arms. "Hoist the sail! Get up you mangy mutts!" He ran out onto the main deck and raced to the front of the ship as his crew scurried out after him.

"Jack!" Exclaimed his second hand, Mr. Gibbs, as he popped up behind him causing the Cap'n to jump back in fright. "What's 'ta matter?"

"Jack?" Will Turner appeared before them, looking about in confusion, Elizabeth Swann was right behind him.

Jack looked back and forth at them. "Hoist the sails! Get this ship moving!"

"Do we have a heading?" Gibbs asked.

Jack turned his back on them and pulled out his compass, grimacing in frustration as the arrow turned every which one. "To land!" He finally said, pointing upwards and then taking off to shout more orders.

Mr. Gibbs, Elizabeth and Will all exchanged looks.

"Smartly there men!" Jack called to them and they shrugged and went to do as told. Norrington came out onto the deck at that time, furrowing his eyebrows at the scene. "Up! Up! More! Higher!" Jack told one of the crewman, motioning upwards towards the sky at the sail.

"Jack, it's as high as it can go." Stated the short Marty, raising an eyebrow.

"Higher! I'm the Captain and I said higher!" Jack told him before running off towards Elizabeth who was looking out onto the sea. "And what, pray tell, are you doing?"

She turned towards him. "Looking for nearby land." She told him as if it were obvious.

"Well while you're over here lolly gagging and enjoying the sea breeze, we're in the middle of a crisis!" He yelled, turning away and walking to someone else.

"I beg your pardon?" Elizabeth followed after him as he shoved a crewman out the way. "A crisis? Of what proportions?" He seemed to ignore her as he rounded on William.

"You call this commandeering!?" Jack asked the man, motioning around. William frowned at him.

"We're only doing as you told us to." He countered.

"We're only doing as you told us to." Jack mocked. "I told you to get me to land."

"Excuse me? I asked what the crisis is Jack." Elizabeth spoke up again. Jack waved his hand in a dismissive gesture and took off across the deck with her still following.

"And you Mr. Norrington, what say, are you doing?" Jack Sparrow came up to the man, face to face.

"Nothing?" Norrington ventured.

"Nothing? Nothing. Nothing!" Jack's voice went up a notch. "You're doing nothing!! Oh yes, because if future reference dose serve me so, nothing helped us alot in the past."

Both Elizabeth and Norrington stared at him. "Did it really?" Norrington asked.

"Ugh!" Jack left them to run onto the quarter deck and stand beside Gibbs who was steering the boat. "Is this the crew of which I hired!?" He called out, causing everyone to stop and stare at him. Jack smiled. "Ah! I know what to do. All of you, " He said pointing to each in turn. "Shall not be paid this week."

There was silence.

"Jack, we don't get paid." Mr. Gibbs whispered in his ear.

Jack's mouth stayed in an O shape for a while. "As well you shouldn't." He finally said.

"I think we all would like to know what's going on!" Will called, followed by murmurs of agreement and nods of heads. Jack sent him a look, his lips smiling but eyes narrowing as he started to walk slowly towards the steps leading down to the main deck.

"I'm sure-" He fell down the stairs and everyone "Oohed." and winced. He shot back up and cleared his throat. "I'm sure you'd all like to know what is going on yet every one of you is the cause of the going on of which you all are so pleasantly curious about."

The crew all exchanged confused looks.

Before anyone could say anything more, the brown haired monkey came scurrying on to the deck with a large bottle of rum in his hands. Jack's eyes widened as he pointed at the animal.

"Ah! Get it! It has the last of the rum!" He exclaimed, running after it.

The monkey took off over the side of the boat and Jack gasped and went off after it. The crew all ran to the railing and looked over it.

Jack was seen floating in the water, looking rather angry and the monkey screeched and pointed at him, his tail wrapped around the railing, and the bottle of rum slipped from the animal's grasp and splashed into the water. The monkey screeched some more before climbing back up and racing off back to the downstairs bunks.

There was more silence.

"He went overboard for a bottle of rum." Will stated, shaking his head.

Mr. Gibbs nodded. "Aye. That he did." He scratched his beard. "Doesn't he remember that we stacked all the crates of rum in his Captain Quarters?"

Jack, who was still floating in the water, picked up his hat that had came off when he fell overboard and fit it on top of his head. "Ah!" He smiled and picked up the bottle of rum that had started to drift away and unscrewed the cap. He held the bottle up in an invisible toast. "Remember this as the day that you _almost _got away from Captain Jack Sparrow, mate" He told the bottle before closing his eyes and tipping it upwards to drink it.

What he got out of it was nothing. Jack opened one eye and looked inside, seeing that the bottle was empty.

"Why is the rum always gone?"

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Pointless? Hell yeah.

Funny? I hope so.

Reviews? I'd like some :D

Peace and Thanks for reading!


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